Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
