great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize