so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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