You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
