Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just found puke in my bra..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
