But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize