I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
