wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
