3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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