hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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