Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
