As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
