When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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