WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
