My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
