all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Come share oat with me in your robe
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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