i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize