Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
