Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
