You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
