the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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