They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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