i can't believe i had my finger in that
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
