So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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