it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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