I'll bet she douches with gravy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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