I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
