why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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