so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
