Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
