is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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