): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
