I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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