Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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