I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
