I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
