10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
