This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
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when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
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