Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
