Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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