shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
North Korea, Best Korea!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
