I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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