AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
