oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
