Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Acid is not a monday night drug
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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