what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
