i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
