My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
