I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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