right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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