ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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