Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize