You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
