so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
