I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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