You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
