you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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